Linda: Poverty to Prosperity by Linda Bytyqi
Three lessons learned from Linda Bytyqi’s story.
Your past does not define your future.
How many of us can imagine growing up in a war zone? I’ll be the first to admit that being born and raised in the Western part of the world makes this difficult.
Linda’s story tells us about a little girl growing up with her family in Kosovo in a 180-year-old house. The house had no kitchen, bedroom, or bathroom. With no beds and barely any furniture, most people today wouldn’t consider this a home.
Then, in 1998, war broke out, and Linda had to flee with her family. They spent the next two months seeking shelter in the forests, making their way to Prishtina, the capital of Kosovo. Their journey eventually continued from Prishtina, leaving on a train to Macedonia. Living with other refugees, they had to choose whether to return to Kosovo or emigrate to a new country.
With countries all over the world opening up to help refugees from the war, Linda’s mom had been told that Canada was a safe place. So, they moved to Quebec and immigrated to Canada.
Growing up in Linda’s living conditions could easily discourage most people from perceiving a better future.
Hardship either makes you or breaks you.
After immigrating to Canada, Linda’s story continues, walking us through her childhood. She describes living with a violent and mentally ill dad, obsessed with being in control. Her mom isn’t allowed to leave their house.
Linda watched her mother get beaten up many times by her dad during her childhood.
Time passes, and Linda starts talking to her friends at school about what’s happening in her home. She figures that this isn’t normal. Trying to protect her mom, Linda stands up against her dad, asking him why. That’s the first time her dad used violence against her, hitting her with a belt. “Do not ask questions again about this,” her father said. He wanted to teach her not to ask questions and that he was the man of the house.
Her dad asked Linda to clean the kitchen one day, and she said no. That’s the first time she relieves being sexually abused by him. She was forced into a room and had to undress her clothes in front of him. As she kept refusing, he placed his hand over her nose and mouth, starting to suffocate her. Being hit with his belt and threatened, Linda surrenders, as it is the only way to escape the situation.
The sexual abuse continued until she was 16 years old.
Living in a world filled with emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, Linda developed depression and suicidal thoughts. Something had to change, and Linda started planning to escape with her mom and a police officer from her school. One day, while her father was showing, they fled to a woman’s shelter. After making their police statements, her father was arrested.
Nobody is supposed to grow up in such circumstances as Linda did during her childhood.
One of the things I admire most about Linda is her ability to endure such hardship and reframe it into a positive perspective. Linda looks back at what happened with gratitude, knowing she wouldn’t be in the position she is without having had those experiences.
The path Linda was heading.
Linda’s story continues as she moves to Boullee, an unsafe neighborhood in London (Ontario). She was 18 at the time and started partying a lot. Influenced by living in a rough neighborhood, her story tells about being exposed to drugs and heavy drinking. At the time, Linda would get into trouble frequently and end up in fights. It occurs to her that the anger must have been triggered towards her father.
A voice inside Linda started telling her that this wasn’t right.
She decided to open up to her guidance counselor, John, and one of her teachers about what was going on. They helped her get through the last year of high school. They would also bring Linda to the hospital when they thought her life might be in danger. That’s where she was diagnosed with PSTS (Post-traumatic stress disorder). At the hospital, she was also diagnosed with anxiety, anorexia, and depression.
It took her about two months to stay in the hospital to cope with the eating disorder.
One person believing in you is all it takes.
As Linda wanted to become a nurse, she cut down on her partying. It was during her first year at college that she met Eliott.
Eliott was a hard-working guy with a good work ethic. At the time, he worked night shifts six days a week and invested in real estate during the daytime. Linda found this attractive, as she was used to having multiple jobs next to her studies.
The thing Eliott didn’t like about Linda was her attitude when they first met. Eliott was curious about why Linda would be so negative, always trying to give her a positive perspective instead. He brought her to seminars and gave her articles on positivity and psychology.
Time passed, and their friendship grew closer; Linda started sharing her goals and dreams with Eliott.
The breaking point came one night when Linda realized that she was ready to change. Eliott encouraged her to take action and start learning to achieve those goals. On Linda’s side, this was the first time someone truly believed in her and provided her with guidance.
As Linda points out, you are the one you decide to surround yourself with. Her path would probably have been a lot different without Eliott’s influence.
Where is Linda today?
Today, Linda is working on her life’s purpose. She wants to help people realize there is more to life than struggling. She has become a thriving businesswoman, working her way up from the bottom. Not only is this story inspiring, but it also gives us an alternative perspective.
